Alo 3 years in red: but if I were Kimi...
1) My dears, in 30 years, from 1979 to 2009, I, the blondie vokda lover, have been the only driver in Cavallino's history to won a WDC. Except Schumi, of course.
2) It's not my fault if you never forgot Schumi. You pi**ed me off with a constant comparison (with him). When I were in McLaren, nobody talked about Hakkinen, neither they talked about the poor Senna. You are sick of nostalgia.
3) Curiously, my dears ex employers, your memory doesn't work only when it's good for you. I won the WDC when the spaniard was trafficking with Stepney's secrets.
4) You told me I don't speak so much with engineers, I'm unable to tell them what to do. Maybe it's true I don't speak a lot, but you, silently, in 2008 changed suspensions because Massa asked you.
5) Speaking about Felipe. I'm sure he'll be as fast as before, in this case good luck to Fernando, because the brazilian knows how to move inside the Scuderia and surely he moved much better than me.
6) I want to kindly point out in 3 years we won, toghether, three titles: a WDC and 2 WCCs.
7) I want to furtherly point out this year, the disgraceful 2009, you gave me a cr@ppy car. I won the most wonderful race, in Spa, I've got the podium more than once and if you didn't stop developing the car, well, I tell you I'd have easily got the third place.
8 ) Do you know what drives me mad? My problems started when Todt left. It was Jean Todt who preferred me over Alonso when Schumi retired. Everybody said, because of his son, the french favoured Felipe, but actually that happened when he left.
9) If I think I've stopped drinking to make you happy, I'm going to turn myself into a beast.
10) I'll start drinking again and I'll make Hamilton black (in Italy "fare nero" "to make somebody black" means "to do a lot better than him" to "destroy him"), if I'm allowed to say this joke which is on the same line of those of your prime minister. In 2010, with the spaniard, you'll go white (in Italy "andare in bianco", "to go white" is usually when a man wants to sleep with a woman but she doesn't agree and they don't sleep toghether. In general it means you want to do something, you expect you'll do it, then this thing isn't going to happen). Do you want to bet?
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